


Life Could Get Better

by savethelastslice



Series: This and That [4]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, ChenJi's This and That, Dream Twitter Mention Party Episode, Twitter, and chenle reads his tweets, where jisung isn't famous, which technically isn't this and that but chenle said it was so it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23875837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savethelastslice/pseuds/savethelastslice
Summary: JP@poppinand_lockinHi everyone. It’s been a week since I last posted and I know #NCTDREAM would never read this, much less #NCT_CHENLE, but I’d like to say -"That's the end of our Dream Mention Party!" Chenle almost falls off his chair when Donghyuck slams the cover of the laptop shut and no no, no, what did that user want to say?Or: Jisung's tweet shows up during the Mention Party, and Chenle's more curious than he'd like to admit.
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: This and That [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1510010
Comments: 32
Kudos: 253





	Life Could Get Better

The cameras start to roll and Donghyuck turns to face them with a large grin. “Welcome everybody! Right now you’re watching Haechan cam with 37.5% viewer ratings.”

“Hello everyone, this is Chenle with 30% viewer ratings,” Chenle smiles and waves at the camera. Some of the staff wave back and he laughs. “We’re your hosts for the Dream Show Mention Party today!”

Mark and Renjun had just finished filming their episode, and after them would be Jeno and Jaemin. Donghyuck turns to Chenle. “Shall we get started?”

It takes them a while to get used to the Twitter layout. Given their busy schedule, they can’t afford to spend too much time on Twitter not to mention the fact that they aren’t allowed to have personal accounts. While Chenle was disappointed in this rule at first - he’d probably skulk in the corner of the Twitter basketball fandom and like half the tweets - listening to Donghyuck spout spoiler after spoiler, he can see why this rule exists.

Chenle casts a quick glance over at the editor. It’s fascinating, really, how her eyebrows do somersaults with every other word from Donghyuck.

With a roll of his eyes, Chenle elbows him. “Donghyuck hyung, if you go on like this our video’s just going to be _bleep bleep bleep_!”

Donghyuck pauses from where he’s concocting some reply to a gifset of himself photoshopped onto a deer and his cheeks colour with embarrassment. “Oh, you’re right. They Czennies won’t be able to hear my beautiful voice.” He turns to the camera and spreads his hands. “Czennies, I’ll do this for you!”

He glances back down and shoots upright again. “I’ll do it for you too, Editor-nim!”

Chenle throws his head back and laughs at her relieved expression.

Twitter - he is quickly finding - is a treasure trove. Some of their fans have some serious talent, and Chenle’s really loving all the fanart they’re scrolling past. To think that they inspire art? It’s completely crazy and ah, there’s another one of Mark and Donghyuck kissing and Chenle turns red and adverts his gaze. Donghyuck just snorts.

And the edits, good lord, the edits. They make him and Donghyuck laugh so hard they agree to (reluctantly) scroll past them so they can concentrate on the task at hand. 

“Everyone, I’m going to give one more spoiler. It’s a dangerous spoiler, are you ready?” Donghyuck cracks his fingers and begins to type with gusto. 

“Hyung, please be careful” Chenle says as he cranes his neck to peek over Donghyuck’s shoulder. One line in and Chenle can already guess what he’s writing and he thinks Editor-nim would be quite relieved, so he smirks and looks away. Almost immediately, his eyes are drawn below to the next post.

It’s a text post, which gets Chenle’s attention. Most of the rest they’ve seen have lots of emojis and gifs in them, but this one is a wall of Korean text. He squints to read the words because years in and Korean still doesn’t come easy to his eyes.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

Hi everyone. It’s been a week since I last posted and I know #NCTDREAM would never read this, much less #NCT_CHENLE, but I’d like to say -

“That’s the end of our Dream Mention Party!”

Chenle almost falls off his chair when Donghyuck slams the cover of the laptop shut and no no, no, what did that user want to say? He can feel Donghyuck’s eyes on him. Quickly replacing his scowl with a smile, Chenle starts on his ending speech like the professional he is.

“We’ve had a lot of fun hearing about what you guys think will happen at the Dream Show and let us tell you, we guarantee that what’s going to happen is 100000000% better!”

“That’s right! There’ll be one more Mention Party soon. For now, it’s been your host Haechan with 37.5% viewer rating -”

“ - and Chenle with 30% ratings -”

“See you at the Dream Show!” They both cry in unison.

“Cut!” The director shouts. “Nice work with the self-control there, Haechan-ssi -”

“I do my best,” Donghyuck puffs his chest out proudly.

“- and good job with the Haechan-control, Chenle-ssi.”

“My pleasure,” Chenle grins. Donghyuck sputters as the production staff laugh.

After their debrief, Chenle and Donghyuck both bow and thank the production team. By the side, Jeno and Jaemin have their faces pressed to the glass door by the side as they await their turns. Chenle almost snorts out loud at some of the faces Jaemin is pulling.

And he calls himself a visual, honestly.

The director looks over curiously. Jaemin hurries to unplaster himself from the door and comes in with an embarrassed laugh.

“We’ll take over from here,” he proclaims grandly, greeting them with a fist bump each. Jeno enters the room more mildly and bows in greeting to the staff.

“You have to work hard to beat our combined 67.5% viewer ratings,” Chenle teases.

“You’re on!” Jeno laughs. Then his face falls when he catches sight of the laptop screen that a staff member reinstates. “Oh my god I’ve never been on twitter though.” 

Donghyuck nods seriously and pats Jeno on the shoulder. “May the best pair win.”

“It’s going to be us,” Chenle stage whispers. “We’ve got the power of two languages on our side!”

“It’s okay,” Jaemin sniffs. “Our relationship with Czennies is not something that language barriers can stop.”

“That’s true, but also nah.” Donghyuck and Chenle take turns to fake puke their way out of the room. They pop their heads back in soon after, laughing, and give a final wave. “Nomin fighting!”

That night when Chenle steps out of the shower he recalls the day’s events. He’s laughing to himself while brushing his teeth when he remembers that post he hadn’t managed to finish reading. 

He cocks his head. Why call him out in particular?

Curiosity hatches a seed of a plan that blooms quickly inside his mind. Hmm.

“Always be careful online,” the voice of Mark nagging like his mother a couple months back comes to his mind. “You don’t want to see half of what people are doing, trust me.”

Like any child, Chenle hadn’t listened. Until the day he had come across some extremely scandalous story about the seven of them and assorted vegetables and vowed that yep, Mark had been right.

He had gone straight over to Mark’s room. Mark had been hanging up his clothes in his wardrobe, and had been pleasantly surprised when Chenle came over and hugged him. “Ya, Chenle-ya, you alright?”

Chenle had sighed into his shoulder. “Mark hyung, why are moms always right?”

Mark had laughed the way he did when he didn’t really know what the Dreamies were goin on about but would go along with it regardless. He had patted Chenle’s hands. “They just do, I guess. Earth’s biggest mysteries.”

After that, Donghyuck had taught him the landmines to avoid. If they were a wall of text, high chance it was what they called ‘fanfiction’, which was what Chenle had stumbled upon the other day. If it’s a drawing you look at them from your peripheral vision first because artistic renditions can look a little _too_ lifelike, and if the hues are like, more warm and orangey and flesh-coloured it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Chenle pauses, toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. That strange feeling won’t leave him alone. He kind of wants to see what that person had to say. 

He meanders back to his room and lies on the bed. After a brief struggle, Chenle goes against better judgement and clicks on the app store, searches out the familiar looking app, and downloads it.

In the two minutes it takes to download, Chenle quickly sets up a separate email address without his real name. Being from a family of business people, Chenle knows how to appreciate personal privacy. You need an email to access the platform, right? 

Creating the account name takes much less time. He’s spent many nights pondering about it until he feels he’s gotten it quite right. 

For some reason, he remembers the fan’s account name too. Chenle types it in quickly so he can’t regret his decision, and clicks _search_.

The familiar opening lines appear right on top of the search results. Chenle decides it must be the most recent post from that account and clicks it to show the full text. There’s a screenshot of the notes app of a phone with the rest of the words after the word limit has been reached. Curious, Chenle taps on them.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

Hi everyone. It’s been a week since I last posted and I know #NCTDREAM would never read this, much less #NCT_CHENLE, but I’d like to say thank you. You all probably hear this word so many times in a day but every ‘thank you’ has a story behind it, so here’s mine (for today, at least):

Your music is like the soundtrack of my life. Whenever a problem comes my way and I wonder what to do, your music somehow gives me the strength to continue. Lately I’ve been very worried about the future and what I should do - should I do what my parents want? Should I listen to the voices from society? Should I be like you and pursue my own dreams? - which is when ‘We Go Up’ dropped. It might sound cliche but when I heard it, I felt like things were going to be okay. I felt like you were telling me that growing up is hard, and you all know that because you are going through it too, but that it’s okay because we’ll go through it together. Sounds silly, I know, but that’s how I feel. That things are going to be okay.

P.S. I wonder if you will see this during Mention Party? Even if you do and don’t reply it’s okay. Please remember that your music helps people a lot. I hope you all stay safe, happy, and healthy - that’s enough to make many people very happy.

_Huh,_ Chenle thinks. 

There’s a warmth spreading from his chest to the rest of his body and he can’t help but smile. It’s the same feeling he gets when the managers occasionally bring them fan letters that the Dream members would crowd in the living room to read. It’s letters like this that encourage him a lot. 

If this is today’s story Chenle wonders what other stories this fan might have. How old are they? They sound quite young. What do they look like? What problems are they facing? That’s another thing Chenle thinks about often, what kind of life he would have lived if he hadn’t come to Korea, hadn’t become an idol. Maybe he would have lived a life similar to this fan.

The questions don’t stop surfacing. Did NCT’s music really help them that much that they would go to the extent of thanking them publicly? And why was his name singled out?

He’s more curious than he’d like to admit.

That night, _@curryon30_ follows _@poppinand_lockin_ on twitter.

\---

The next day, Chenle flops on his bed after dinner and logs on to his Twitter. He spends five minutes scrolling through the Stephen Curry tag before deciding he should maybe stop kidding himself as to the reason why he’s there and tentatively brings up the fan’s account from yesterday.

It’s stupid, it’s reckless. If the company found out about what he was doing they’d give him a proper scolding for being careless with his identity. What if he did something that ruined the reputation of the group? How would he manage a scandal?

Chenle pushes the worries aside and scrolls down. He’s not stupid, he’s not going to do anything but read through some posts then go back to his basketball tags. It’s not like he’s going to reveal his identity to some random fan because his posts moved him or anything. Chenle knows about catfishes and stuff. They had a whole lecture on the dangers of the internet when they had first debuted, which had given Renjun nightmares for the next two weeks.

Chenle continues to scroll down. There are a few pictures, but none of them have a face. Most are of places and things: there’s a dog on a leash, a tree in a garden, a hand holding bubble tea. The closest Chenle gets to finding a photo of this fan is a thin figure in black sweats and hoodie, but it’s taken from chest down and the clothes are really very baggy.

He continues to scroll. Counting to five under his breath, Chenle stops scrolling and reads a post at random.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

School’s been alright so far I guess. Or maybe not. It’s high school, so what to expect? Work is tiring. Making friends is tiring. 

I’m glad I’ve been allowed to continue dancing, though. It’s really the best thing I have and I feel like I live for the time I’m at the studio more than anything else. From the moment the school bell rings I feel like I’m free - music and dance wait for me at the studio and on the way there I’ve been listening to #NCTDREAM ‘Walk You Home’, and I feel a lot better. A lot less alone.

My school’s having an upcoming audition for the dance crew, think I should try it out?

Chenle purses his lips. He can relate to that feeling. Back in middle school when people found out who his parents were, it seemed like everyone suddenly wanted to be his friend, but not really. 

He’d brought a few classmates over once. Chenle had talked on and on about his favourite television show only to find them too busy gawking at the furniture to reply.

Each day, different classmates would come up to him, saying they wanted to walk with him and that they lived in his area when he knew they didn’t. He’d still accept their requests with a smile - better to walk with someone than alone, right? - and he’d see the way they gazed through the gates trying to catch a glimpse at his house, fire and envy in their eyes.

He’d still accept their requests because he hadn’t known how to say no. So Chenle had liked the days where there had been no one waiting for him at the school gates the best. 

Chenle takes a look at the fifteen comments left on the post. Most of them are variants of _’go for it!’_ s and _’you’re a brilliant dancer, they’d be crazy not to accept you’_ s. 

He smiles. He’s glad this fan seems to have a supportive online community, if nothing else.

A question begins to form in his mind.

Two minutes of wild scrolling later, Chenle finds it.

The video is taken from the neck down, and the fan is dressed in a usual black hoodie and sweats that basically swallow him. Chenle takes a moment to wonder if it’s worrying that he thinks of this fan in terms of what’s usual and what’s not, but he pushes it aside. Clicks play. 

Immediately, his jaw drops.

This fan is _good_. He’s beyond good, almost as good as Jeno, even. Okay, well - Chenle peeks at the date stamp, two years ago - and so maybe he isn’t the most polished and his popping seems so powerful it rocks his thin frame in a way that seems just barely controlled, but Chenle would pay good money to see him dance now.

He’s sure to be as good as Jeno. Maybe even better.

Definitely better than he is, that’s for sure.

Chenle furrows his brow. There’s something very familiar about the dance and my god, Chenle realises belatedly. It’s Chewing Gum. How did he miss that?

He quickly exits the video. There’s exactly one more post below that, the first post from the account.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

Hi, I’m Jisung and I love to dance. I think I’ll upload a dance practice video from my latest favourite song, ‘Chewing Gum’ by #NCTDREAM! It makes me feel like I’m allowed to be young. I’ve always felt very conscious of my baby face but now I’m grateful for me :)

Chenle smiles. Not only did this boy start his account when Dream had first debuted (fate!), he was talented _and_ completely adorable.

If his name’s Jisung and his account name is JP, Chenle thinks he’s willing to bet that the P stands for Park. Park Jisung. He thinks it over in his mind. Not the most uncommon name.

\---

Over the next month, scrolling through twitter becomes a habit. He never slacks off on his work of course, but on days when practice ends early enough for them to not have turned into complete zombies, he spends some time before bed going through the tags and catching up on the news. Inevitably, he’ll end up checking in on Jisung.

Chenle learns more things about him. He learns that Jisung lives in Seoul and that he’s sixteen this year, making him one year younger than Chenle. Or maybe he’s slightly younger but they could have been in the same grade.

He learns that dance truly is Jisung’s first love. He learns that ‘My First and Last’ was the song that encouraged Jisung to continue pursuing dance and not to let it go even if school was getting heavier. To keep that option open, just a tiny bit.

He learns that Jisung learned the dance to ‘We Young’ to audition for his high school dance team. After watching his video, Chenle isn’t at all surprised that he had gotten in. Chenle also learns that Jisung had choreographed a dance to ‘Go’ for his showcase at the end of that year.

And that dance practice video. That video. It’s good enough to be staged across the world, but it’s only gotten about 200 thousand views.

It’s also the only video for Jisung’s head to be shown. His face isn’t clear despite that, and Chenle can only make out a lean, strong jawline.

Chenle’s giddy with excitement because he had been right when he’d watched Jisung’s first video. Jisung has grown into himself as a dancer. His movements are sharp. They don’t seem to wrack his small frame anymore - they seem to emanate from some source of great power, yet every move is extremely controlled, detailed.

Rolling out of bed, Chenle almost knocks Jeno over in the process of pattering to Mark’s room, he’s so excited. Mark’s lying on his bed watching and laughing at some fan made edits. Donghyuck’s busy playing computer games in the corner with Jeno’s laptop, but he’s surprisingly wearing headphones tonight.

Chenle walks over and prods Mark’s ribs.

“Ow, what the - oh, it’s you.” Mark shuffles over to make room on the bed. “What’s up?”

“Hyung,” Chenle starts. “Do, um. Has SM ever recruited anyone from videos?”

Mark raises one eyebrows. “Don’t they film the auditions and get the higher ups to evaluate the shortlisted ones from the video?”

No, urgh. Chenle shakes his head. “Like, let’s say there’s an extremely talented person who’s like, a Youtuber. Would the recruitment staff consider someone like that?”

Mark gives it some thought. He snaps his fingers. “Ailee was on Youtube before becoming a singer, right?” 

Chenle grins. He knew he was asking the right hyung. 

“Why? Did you see someone?”

That’s all the permission Chenle needs before he belly flops straight onto the bed. “Hyung, look at this.”

At the end of the video, Chenle laughs to see Mark’s awestruck expression. The older boy rolls onto his side. “Dude, I - dude, that was _awesome_.”

“I know right,” Chenle smiles smugly. “So - what do you think?”

Mark looks lost. “Huh?”

“About this guy? Don’t you think he’d be great as an idol?”

“I -” Mark frowns. “There’s no doubting this guy has a lot of skill, Chenle-ya. But idols have to be skilled in different areas too. Can he sing or rap?” 

Uh. Chenle blinks. He’d completely missed that out, he had been so entranced by Jisung’s dance. 

Mark’s not done talking and carries on. “Also, how do you know this guy wants to be an idol? Lots of people have other ambitions.”

He hates to admit it but Mark’s right. Chenle admits so with a sigh and scrambles off the bed. 

Across the room, Donghyuck slides his headphones to his neck and turns around looking scandalised. “Mark hyung’s right about what? What did I miss?”

\---

January rolls around and brings with it a new wave of promotions. Chenle’s rushing from schedule to schedule, flight to broadcast station to stage and back to the van, that he barely makes it back to the dorm before 2 a.m. on the days he actually gets to go back. Mostly, he’s stumbling into pitch black hotel rooms, too tired to turn on the lights.

Some days, Chenle can’t even find the energy to plug his phone into its charger. At least it doesn’t have the chance to run out of battery by staying untouched in his bag all day.

Before he knows it, it’s the last day of their tour before they head back to Korea. Dream will have a two week break from promotions after this, and Chenle’s more than happy to take it.

He stirs awake in the middle of getting his hair done. Beside him, Renjun, Jaemin, and Mark are monitoring last night’s performance on one of the staff’s iPad. Chenle strains his ears to listen in on their conversation.

“ - after all this I swear I can dance in my sleep,” Renjun’s telling Jaemin seriously, a hand on his shoulder. “You should try an experiment. Play the music tonight and see if I react while sleeping.”

“Do I look like I’m going to wake up in the middle of the night to do that huh, you punk, I have eyebags to my ears already -”

“Oh,” Mark is saying serenely he’s so used to their squabbling. “I just remembered: Chenle showed me a cover dance of this once and it was really good. Like - really, _really_ good, remind me to show it to y’all when we get back to Korea…”

Chenle dozes off again.

The concert passes by. All the members are keen to give it their best shot before their break comes. They don’t repeat mistakes they’ve made the past few nights, especially in the tricky bridge of ‘We Go Up’ that always seems to have someone slightly out of time, and they have fun.

Chenle remembers Mark’s words only when he gets back to the hotel room. He’s confused for a second before it hits him. Right, he wonders what’s happening to - what’s his name - Jisung!

Chenle glances at the clock. It’s just past twelve and Chenle is still high enough on the adrenaline, so he flops onto his bed and pulls out his phone and ah, Chenle’s eyes widen, Jisung just posted two hours ago. That’s got to be around the time the concert had ended.

It’s probably about the concert, Chenle thinks. He grins in anticipation. He wonders what Jisung had thought of it. 

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

It’s 11.48 p.m. on a Friday. It’s also the time #NCTDREAM would probably finish their current concert. I know I promised myself that I’d be there one day to support the people who have unknowingly given me lots of strength but many things have happened since then.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted a dance video in so long. After my school’s concert I had to give up going to the academy and the crew because some things happened at home. Work has been piling up. I don’t understand how mathematics comes so easy to some people but I think my head isn’t meant for mathematics. I’m scared, and I’m lonely - there’s not really anyone from the crew in my grade or classes and I don’t see them around anymore without practice.

I can’t promise I’ll be continuing this account any further. We’ll see how it all ends. I’ll try to hang in there, I guess.

Chenle rereads the post three times, he can’t believe his eyes. He scrolls down. It’s only been three months since the last time Jisung had last posted on the Mention Party. Then there was his cover of ‘Go’, just five months before.

The comments section is filled with tens of comments. Most of them are encouraging but one makes Chenle squint.

**Young &Free** _@seungmeasong_

@poppinand_lockin Think you’re the only one with problems? Dancing is just a fantasy. Better you suck it up now and forget about being like nct. Don’t live in a delusion

“What an asshole,” Chenle breathes. His heart breaks for Jisung who sounds so disappointed and god, no one likes to feel that way.

The next morning he’ll say it was the adrenaline, or maybe it was that he was just so tired from the concert he wasn’t completely in control of what he was doing.

**dolphin dunk** _@curryon30_

@poppinand_lockin don’t listen to him. Things may seem hard but they’ll be okay, fighting!

With a groan, Chenle leaves his phone on the bedside table and faceplants into the pillow. In an instant he’s out like a light.

\---

A follower had once asked Jisung who his favourite NCT Dream member was. The thread went like this:

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

@m0m0 Chenle by far! We’re really close in age and this is going to sound really weird but I think that we could’ve been friends if we had led different lives.

**ONCE Forever** _@m0m0_

@poppinand_lockin That’s adorable :)

**Dahyun’s Lunchbox** _@AltogetherManhattan_

@poppinand_lockin cuuuuuuuute biggest uwu everrrr

**baekky1923** _@eggsbaekontoast_

@poppinand_lockin That’s the problem with the k-idol industry, people think they’re commodities and friends and girl/boyfriends but you don’t know anything about them

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

@eggsbaekontoast You’re right. Idols aren’t commodities we can imagine into roles while believing they belong there. I guess it’s how far we take it idk, anyhow there are other reasons.

**FullSunLouis** _@louis_lee_  
@poppinand_lockin Hi yes wait what reasons

Chenle had wanted to know too. Hours of cumulative reading later he had found another thread.

**FullSunLouis** _@louis_lee_

@poppinand_lockin Today’s the daaaaaaaay you promised to teellllllllll

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

My lips are sealed I’m not making this weird and it’s not weird. There are just some people you vibe with the moment you see each other, you know?

It’s weird, but Chenle kind of does.

The next morning Chenle awakes with a glorious stretch - finally, a day he doesn’t get up before the sun - and cracks open an eye to peer at his phone notifications.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

@curryon30 thank you, I needed that.

_@poppinand_lockin has followed you!_

Chenle rubs at his eyes and stares. Shit.

\---

Contrary to prior belief, nothing much changes after Jisung follows him. The world doesn’t end, he doesn’t get evicted from Dream.

That afternoon, all of Dream boards a flight back to Korea. Chenle spends most of it watching horror films while Renjun watches Brooklyn Nine Nine next to him. When they land and he can switch his mobile data back on, Chenle half expects to see a notification, but there’s nothing.

The two weeks zip by quickly. It’s mostly a haze for Chenle - he’s back in Shanghai for half of their break with his family, revisiting all their favourite restaurants and playing games with his little cousins.

“Welcome back, Lele, our little star,” his grandmother had said as she had pulled him to her in a tight embrace.

It only really hits him later, when he’s cruising back to the airport in his family’s Lamborghini, he didn’t spend any time with ex-schoolmates or friends.

Friends. All that pops up in his mind are the faces of his members, but they’re far away now. Chenle wonders if it’s like that for Jisung, too.

When Chenle gets back to Korea, there’s a day where his hyungs drag him out for a beachside barbeque. Other than that, he spends most of it lying in bed. He watches his fill of Youtube, retweets hundreds of random tweets on basketball or NCT. Mark almost burns down the kitchen making ramyeon one afternoon when Jaemin and Jeno are out cycling and Renjun is in self-declared hibernation for the day while Donghyuck is visiting the 127 dorm, so Chenle takes pity on him and cooks him his patented ramyeon.

“You could sell this, it’s so good,” Mark declares between bites.

Chenle just snorts. He leans over and pinches Mark’s cheeks while he’s distracted, causing his hyung’s eyebrows to disappear into his fringe. “Cute.”

They chat for the better part of the afternoon until Mark is summoned by Donghyuck upstairs. So Chenle heads into his room and flops back onto the bed, straight into the perfect Chenle-shaped depression of the mattress that tells him he should probably move more.

Pulling out his phone, Chenle’s thumb opens twitter from pure habit and stares at the screen.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

Some of you’ve been asking for updates. My dad’s not talking to me and my mom’s upset because of that, and life kind of sucks but I’ll figure something out. In the meantime it’s school, homework, school, homework.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_  
Playing Empathy on repeat. I really, really miss dance.

Chenle feels something hollow inside of his chest. His parents have always been supportive of his career choice, doing their best to encourage him when he himself had felt like giving up. He’s thought about it before, about what he’d do if his parents had insisted he go to business school and give up his dreams like most other conglomerate families out there, and all he’d felt was soul-crushing, suffocating sadness.

His hands hover over the messaging button. 

_Does he have people with him?_ Chenle wonders. He’s no stranger to stories of trainee hopefuls who don’t make it and feel that their world has ended. The arts, Chenle knows, is not the kindest of fields. The thought that many of them are younger than him makes him sick to his stomach. _Is Jisung okay?_

At the moment Chenle tears fingers away from clicking, the door opens. Renjun walks in. 

Chenle tosses his phone aside and watches as Renjun flops onto Jeno’s bed and stares at him. “Hello, Chenle. Don’t do the hibernation thing. Your body clock will be whack. It’s 11 p.m. and I just ate a plate full of kimchi fried rice and I regret everything.”

Chenle blinks “Wow.”

Renjun heaves himself up to his elbows and squints at Chenle. “What’s up? You look like you have indigestion.”

“I don’t.” He does not. Chenle rubs his stomach to make sure. Under Renjun’s unrelenting stare, Chenle sighs. “Renjun hyung - no matter what we say, Czennies aren’t really our friends, are they?”

“Well…” Renjun purses his lips. “There are many different types of friends so I guess technically -”

“I mean friends as in like, you can talk honestly to each other and help each other with their problems kind of friend.”

“Oh that. Then of course not.” Chenle gives Renjun a sideways stink eye and Renjun rolls his. “Chenle, there are so many Czennies and we only have 24 hours a day. It’s not that we don’t want to be there for them, but we physically can’t. It’s hard enough having so many members already, you know?”

Chenle knows. He’s talked about it with Jeno once, at 4 a.m. when neither of them could sleep, about how it’d be like when NCT gets more members. If he’s placed in a group where he doesn’t know anyone’s names, never monitored their videos for them, never sweated it out in the practice rooms as trainees together. It’d be weird. 

Also, regression to the mean. If they had so many members there were bound to be some bad eggs and Chenle can’t stand the thought of that.

“I know,” he says. “It just - it kinda sucks. People out there may be hurting and we can’t do anything about it. Sometimes it feels so superficial, you know? ‘Listen to our song and you will feel better’, like a one size fits all solution when one size can’t fit all.”

“Even Atlas can barely hold up the sky,” Renjun says matter-of-factly. His expression softens when he sees Chenle’s face, and he reaches out a leg to prod him with his toes. “It’s what we can do, Chenle. Music does help in a way a friend can’t, just not in the way a friend can. You need both, you know?”

\---

Chenle knocks on the door of the spare studio. When he hears a muffled _come in!_ he pushes his way inside.

Mark slides his headphones off his ears, surprised. “Chenle! Didn’t expect to see you here today.” He squints suspiciously at the boba Chenle is offering him. “Do you need help with something? Or are you here on behalf of Donghyuck again because if you are, you need to tell him to just come himself.”

Chenle laughs. “I don’t want to know how many times Donghyuckie hyung has done that for you to say that.”

Mark stabs the boba with a straw and takes a big sip. “You really don’t. So, why are you here?”

“Oh right!” Chenle plops himself down on a chair and leans forward. “I was thinking about our next album and I think like. Our audience are teenagers right? And growing up can be difficult and they might have to make difficult decisions, so um. I was hoping we could do a song that would encourage them.” He thinks about what he’s just said and nods decisively. “Yeah, a song that makes them feel like they’re getting stronger when they listen to it.”

“Stronger, huh.” Mark chews the end of his pen as he thinks. He breaks out into a smile. “I like that. Let’s see what we can do, yeah?”

\---

To get back into shape for their promotions, the next few weeks are spent doing a lot of physical training that leaves Chenle feeling like his body’s falling apart. During vocal lessons he sings until his throat is sore. His joints even creak randomly while learning the new choreography but somehow, picturing Czennies in the form of Jisung makes it easier to push through.

 _I’ll figure something out. I’ll try to hang in there._ If Jisung is going to work hard to do what he has to do, Chenle is going to as well. 

The tweet comes on a Thursday. The Dream members have spent the past four hours learning the last of the choreography for the next comeback and when Mark finally calls for a break, they all fall to the floor with groans. 

“I can’t imagine how it’s like to be old,” Donghyuck says loudly. Mark just rolls his eyes. 

They all know it’s Donghyuck’s way of expressing his concern for their eldest hyung so Chenle laughs as he wiggles his way to where his phone is plugged into the wall. His hands hover over the screen and a familiar icon pops up. Frowning, Chenle swipes to open the notification.

**JP** _@poppinand_lockin_

Hey guys, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?

My parents and I, we talked about things and they’ve agreed to give me a chance to try pursuing what I love. I tried for so long to be a good student but my heart was always in dance, so we’re going to give it a shot. I’ve got a few things lined up to do and if I succeed I think I’ll have to delete this account. It’s a bit bittersweet, since I started it to journal my dance journey. But it’s a step I’m willing to take.

I’m grateful for this chance and I know I’m lucky to have it. I’m going to work hard and prove myself! Thank you everyone for all your support this time, if you’ve retweeted something or have left a kind word. They mean more than you know.

“Okay, break’s over! Let’s start from the top again.”

Chenle quickly takes a swig of his water and scrambles to join them. He’s smiling so wide his cheeks hurt and his chest is swelling with so much pride and relief because Jisung’s okay. He’ll be okay.

\---

Two weeks later, _@poppinand_lockin_ is deactivated.

Chenle takes a moment to stare silently at his phone. It feels sweet, knowing someone he’s been rooting for has succeeded. It’s a familiar feeling: he feels that way as well whenever any combination of his members steps off stage, performance completed and knocked out of the park. 

The feeling’s tinged with some sourness too, though. He won’t be able to see Jisung’s progress. It’s that more than anything that reminds Chenle that Jisung isn’t really his friend. 

“If you were we’d go celebrate,” Chenle whispers into the empty room. He’s really not sure why he feels this way, either. Chenle closes his eyes and swallows the empty feeling down.

\---

When ‘We Boom’ is released to huge success, Dream has their schedules packed more tightly than ever and it’s back to the exhausting cycle of airplanes, stages, waiting rooms. Somewhere between them, Chenle deactivates and deletes his twitter.

In the face of these schedules, Chenle thinks that fan meets come as a breath of fresh air. They get to interact with fans, play games with them, and there’s always something different that happens every time.

The hours pass quickly. Before he knows it, Chenle is standing with the other members in front of the stage, thanking their fans for coming.

“It’s really been great spending this time with you all,” Mark gushes. “We look forward to seeing you all, and we just want to thank you for all the love you show us and - what’s that?” Mark cups a hand behind his ear and pretends to listen to the crowd’s chanting. Chenle can barely contain his laughter, he’s so cute. And bad at acting. “You want an encore? Well, it turns out we do have something special prepared for you all.”

Mark passes the microphone down to Chenle.

“Czennies are our source of strength,” Chenle smiles at the screams they send his way. “And we want to give you strength too, to get through the hard times. Here’s a song that we hope will do that - NCT Dream’s ‘Stronger’!”

They get into position. The music starts. 

Five minutes later, Chenle gulps down water backstage. Jaemin comes up and pats him on the back so hard he almost chokes. 

“Chenle-ya! Your Korean has improved so much, I’m so proud of you aish, why are you so cute!”

Chenle can barely speak with the way Jaemin’s pinching his cheeks like putty. “Ah, Jaemin hyung, that hurts - argh!”

Jaemin only detaches his hands when there’s a shout from a staff member telling the members to go back to the stage.

Chenle’s still rubbing his sore cheeks when he and Jaemin join the other members down in front of the stage. All the fans seem to have left the venue. Staff members are clearing up the main area so on instinct, all the members start to scatter to help out when their manager tells them to stay put. He looks expectantly to the back of the room. Chenle’s eyes follow his.

A smartly-dressed lady is heading down the left staircase of the auditorium. Behind her is a masked figure dressed head-to-toe in black, and the members stare on curiously.

When the lady reaches them, Chenle squints at her nametag and just about makes out her name. Mrs Jung. Meanwhile, the figure - a boy, probably a trainee with the way his face is covered - stands awkwardly to the side. 

Something about him feels familiar. Chenle tilts his head, considering the boy. Have they met before?

Their manager swoops in to introduce them. “Members, this is Mrs Jung from SM Entertainment’s human resources department.” 

Mrs Jung greets them with a bow. “Hello, everyone. Great performance today! I’m here today with one of our SM trainees to show him your performance as well as your schedule.”

“Oh,” Mark’s wide eyes are trained on the boy. “Is this the new member Mr Lee has been talking about?”

Simultaneously, five heads whip around to stare. The trainee takes a step back.

“Yes, that’s right!” Mrs Jung pushes the trainee forward with a hand. “Boys, meet Park Jisung. He’ll be joining you all for the next round of promotions.”

The trainee - Jisung - cautiously lowers his black face mask and black cap to reveal bleached blonde hair and a handsome face with small eyes, pouty lips, and a prominent jawline.

Chenle takes in the boy’s name, his thin frame, his clothes - loose fitting black sweatshirt and black sweatpants - and his eyes widen.

Jisung bows. “Hello, sunbaenims. My name is Park Jisung and sunbaenim’s music was what inspired me to chase my dreams.”

Jaemin is eyeing Jisung up and down, a glint in his eyes. “Nice to meet you, Jisung. If I may ask, what’s your speciality?”

“Dance.”

Six pairs of eyes swivel to stare at Chenle. He quickly waves his hands defensively. “I - I mean. He looks like a dancer, doesn’t he?”

Mrs Jung elbows Jisung. “So? What’s your speciality?”

“I - I dance,” Jisung shyly admits. His gaze lingers on Chenle, and Chenle feels his face heat up. “And I sing. A litte.”

“Oho ho,” Donghyuck lights up. “A new son!”

Mark’s looking from Jisung to Chenle suspiciously, and Chenle’s reminded of the one time he almost got caught for his twitter account. It had been in the dorms and Chenle had been lounging on the couch, waiting for the advertisement break to end, and Mark had snuck up on him. He’d fallen off the couch in shock and his phone had been left on the cushions face up.

Mark had raised both eyebrows as he had stared. “What’s this?”

“N-nothing!” Chenle had yelped, scrambling to get his phone. It had been Jisung’s twitter page, back when he used to re-read his old posts like he would old chats from Dream’s Kakaotalk chat room.

Mark hadn’t said anything about it. He had merely hummed and dropped the topic, turning his attention to Friends playing on the television.

Chenle had almost forgotten about that incident, he’d assumed Mark hadn’t seen much. With the way Mark is smiling now, he’s willing to bet Mark knows more than he’s letting on.

“Why don’t you all introduce yourselves?” Mrs Jung is suggesting, and this breaks Chenle out of his thoughts. “Chenle, why don’t you go first?”

“Sure!” Chenle takes a deep breath and turns to face Jisung, who’s already looking at him with an expression he can’t quite place. Questions start to bubble up in his mind.

 _Did you have a hard time getting here, Jisung-ah?_

_Did you listen well to the song we wrote for you?_

Lastly and most importantly: _do you think we can become friends for real this time?_

His members are starting to protest with how long he’s taking, something that souds like _he’s handsome but talk first and stare at Jisung later!_ so Chenle swallows the questions down. There’ll be more time to ask them later if they’re going to be living together. He smiles broadly and sticks out his hand. “Hello, Jisung. I’m Zhong Chenle. It’s very nice to meet you, I look forward to working with you.”

“Nice to meet you, Chenle,” Jisung says, shaking his hand. "Likewise.” 

He smiles sweetly and even without asking, Chenle knows the answer to the last question. 

It's weird and strange but somehow, he just does.

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from me mishearing suju's 'Miracle' for 3 months straight but somehow i think it feels more hopeful this way 
> 
> First time doing a piece from Chenle's pov - wonder what you all think? Or any chenji this and that episode you think I should try writing? (no guarantees ofc!)
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope this little piece can give you some joy during this season. Please stay safe everyone <3


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